Kiss my Ass Days

Yesterday was one of those days where I didn't want to be anything to anyone. I was in my "kiss my ass" mood....which I developed during my second pregnancy.

It came upon me suddenly then that I didn't give myself enough credit for the things I do for my family and others. Moms always drag around a thousand tons of guilt with them wheverever they go. Am I effing up my kid in some new way that Jung would have written tomes about?

When I was nearing the end of my pregnancy with Sean..which was no picnic, (I hate it when pregnany moms go on about how great and sexy they feel...) I started allowing myself to have "Everyone can kiss my ass" days. I realized I needed these days once in a while to give myself a break. So Kiss my Ass days go something like this:

Cate is allowed to watch all the TV she wants and even her meals can be whatever she feels like having. Want some chocolate chip cookies for breakfast, Cate? Wonderful! And all those parenting magazine writers and super moms (kelly ripa) can....you guessed it...kiss my ass.

Uh oh...the phone is ringing for the 100th time...guess what??? That can kiss my you know what, too. If it's that important leave a message.

Oh my, it's time to get dinner ready...hmmm...looks like tuna sandwhiches and chicken nuggests. If you don't like it, you know what you can do.

And Rick, don't even look at me with the hope of getting some at bedtime on kiss my ass days. He already knows this, but I'm just putting it down for the rest of you.

A few other things I like to do on these days:
extend naptime: no one is allowed to leave their rooms after naps until mommy says so or mommy wakes up...there's plenty of stuff for Cate to do in her room without setting us on fire and Sean is content to look at his mobile for eons of time which freaks me out most other days.

early bedtime for everyone under the age of 30. uh ha! The perfect solution to a day's worth of moaning and groaning and the perfect way to end a Kiss My Ass day (along with a bottle of wine).

How come you didn't return my call, anne?
How come the dishes are still in the sink from this morning?
How come dinner isn't ready?
How come the kids are still in their pj's?
How come it looks like nothing has been done here all day?

Wanna know why? Because everyone can Kiss my Ass today. I'm taking a nap.

And then it's business as usual the following morning. Too many of these days in a row and the someone is calling Human Services on you. To whom I would most likely say Kiss my ass if they showed up at the door.