Forward

It's Monday night and I have nothing else to do except take some great Swiss drugs for my migraine right after I finish this blog. So here goes: (this originated from my sister's blog btw)

Ten things you wish you could say....no names

1. I'm going to be 31 and am still waiting for that apology you owe me.

2. You'll never know how lonely it was without you, how long I waited for you, and how much it hurts being so far away from you.

3. I'm glad you finally got an idea that something was up after four years of me waiting around for the light bulb to go off. I fell in love in slow motion just like the movies. I think there were even fireworks.

4. I can't believe how stupid I was, even though a teenager. It still haunts me, just as you do.

5. No offense, I think you were always gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. I just wish you would come out of the closet, already.

6. I'm sorry, in advance, for anyway that I may be effing you up right now.

7. I've asked around, and apologizing via email or voicemail does not count.

8. How can I possibly show my gratitude and love for you and your family over so many years..... and stupid boyfriends, 3 kids, one divorce, and too many garage parties to count?

9. You always were (and still are) the light at the end of my tunnel.

10. I hope someday, before it's too late, you will understand me.


Nine Things About Me

1. I'm lazy most of the time

2. That's b/c I love to work under the gun

3. I'm in love with Walt Whitman (like you didn't already know)

4. I wish I wrote just about every Bob Dylan song, myself

5. I've had clinical depression and post partum depression and I'm still here

6. I take drugs for both of these, and I'm ok with that (up yours Tom Cruise)

7. I cannot stand Oprah Winfrey and her stupid book club. I wouldn't be caught dead on that list.

8. I've been writing since the third grade and still have my first notebook of short stories from 1985

9. I'm going to be famous after I'm dead.


Eight Ways to Win My Heart

1. Be funny..mostly about yourself

2. Have some manners, for god's sake

3. Love Walt Whitman and Bob Dylan (or else don't even bother)

4. Don't talk to me about Conrad's Heart of Darkness

5. Send Oprah some hate mail

7. Bring me Chinese without me having to ask for it

8. Let me sleep in


Seven Things That Cross My Mind Alot

1. Dick Cheney is the devil

2. Am I cutting it as a mom?

3. Am I cutting it as a wife?

4. Why does Cate hate me already?

5. AP

6. These circles under my eyes aren't going anywhere

7. When can I go back to school?


Six Things I'm Afraid Of

1. The GRE

2. cockroaches (like you would not believe...hyperventilation will take place)

3. Losing one of my kids at the mall or something

4. "growing up undone"

5. another republican president

6. Dick Cheney

One Confession:
ok ok, I'm really in love with Oprah. I'm just so jealous!